A Day in the Life

Ty wakes up at 5:20am
He's screamiling (smiling while he cries) for food
Bottle
He refuses to go back to sleep
He coos for 30 minutes
He naps at 6:50am
7:20am, nap is over
I cry
Jeff comes home from work with Starbucks (see: "my hero" and "love of my life")
Grace is up thrilled to see us
Family time, enjoyed
9am Jeff goes to bed and so does Ty
Make eggs, waffle and sliced strawberries for Grace
Sit her at the table
"Yum!"
She gets up
She throws the full plate in the sink 
(I would have eaten that)
Asks for goldfish
Asks for cookies
Ty's awake
Jeff's asleep
Bottle in one hand, crayon in the other
Color with Woody and Grace while watching Dora
"Shide, peeeeese?"
Put each other's shoes on
Go outside
We talk about poopoo 
She points out all the dog poopoo
Notice there's a wasps nest under the eaves
Inside!
Call exterminator 
Inquire about spider killing while I'm at it
Tummy time for Ty
He wails
Grace wants to go back outside
Distract with more coloring
Grace only uses the black crayon
She feeds me pretend cookies
Lights up when I say, "mmmmmmm!"
Doorbell rings
Diapers.com order is here
Make a fort out of the box
Kick the box
Ty screams his balls off for a bottle
"Goldfish?! Cookies?"
"Wait one minute."
"Okay."
Find a wasp inside
Catch and release
Hold Ty all. morning. long.
Give up on lunch, feed her goldfish and cookies
Ty smiles at Grace
She doesn't care
I do
Ty naps
"Guppies? Guppies? Guppies?!"
Watch the "Bubble Puppy" episode of Bubble Guppies for the 900th time
Snuggle Grace
Braid her hair
Get Woody, "Bum", "Mumu" and "Hammie" and head for "bem"
Grace lays down for a minute (before she runs around in her crib for the next 2 hours)
I sit down but...
Ty wakes up
Bottle, tummy time, chatter 
SMILES for mama
Bottle again
Growth spurt?
Ty needs a nap
Grace is squealing
Kicking the walls 
Bashing Woody against her crib rails
Ty sleeping in the next room - out of the question
Ty sleeping in our room with Jeff - out of the question
Hold Ty for his hour nap
Listen to Grace yell at her stuffed animals
Stare at the messy living room
Think all toys are crap
(this is beginning to sound like an exhausting poem)
Watch a spider lap the room
Day dream about eating
(I'll title the poem, "Are We There Yet?")
Ty's up
Eat 5 chips with salsa
Grace out of "bem"
She's crabby
She should have napped
Color with the black crayon
"Goldfish?"
Wonder if anyone else's kid lives on goldfish
Empty any and all toys left in organizational bins
Don't play with any of them
Give Ty more bottle for his growth spurt
Grace hits the dog
The dog bites Grace
She should have napped
Notice Grace's breakfast is still in the sink
Drink a half glass of water
We check the mail together
Grace bolts
We walk the block without shoes
Home
Grace trips on nothing
Screams for 5 minutes
Threw a Croc that hit Ty - timeout 
Screamed bloody murder too many times - time out
She should have napped!
Ty doesn't want to be put down
Make Grace dinner 
She feeds it to the dog
Jeff is up
Jeff changes Ty's diaper
Ty falls asleep mid diaper change (because it's just that easy for dads)
Make dinner
Grace steps on my toe
It hurts more than it should
"Sowy mama"
"It's okay Bebe."
Jeff and Grace play "puppy" (crawl all over the house)
Dinner is ready
I hug my husband
It feels grown up
Ty is up
Ty screams for a bottle
Jeff feeds Grace her second dinner
She eats it (because it's just that easy for dads)
Jeff eats
Ty eats
Try to put Ty in HIS bed
He wants to be swaddled
He tries to break out of the swaddle
Screams when he can't
For a kid who likes to be swaddled, he sure hates swaddling
He squawks too much
Jeff gets in the shower
Bring Ty downstairs because he doesnt WANT to sleep in his bed
Grace emptied both dog bowls (food and water) all over the dining room and is soaked - timeout 
Hits me - timeout
"mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama..."
She should have napped
Eat a couple bites of dinner - it's room temperature
Ty's tired so I try the swing - screams
Hold Ty
Jeff gets Grace in the tub 
Listen to them play basketball with her toys
Jeff genuinely cheers with excitement every time Grace makes a basket
Ty wants his paci
Ty doesn't want his paci
Ty NEEDS his paci
Falls asleep in the swing
Eat a couple more bites of dinner - it's cold
The wine is gone
All the bottles are dirty
The kitchen is dirty
The living room is dirty
I'm dirty
The ice cream is gone
Marvel at maternal instincts and how they stop you from running out the door screaming
Grace is out of the tub
She screams while I put her pjs on
While I brush her hair 
When "Mumu" falls on the floor
Hugs
Kisses
Loves
Papa reads stories
Night night
Passed out
Jeff heads out the door for work
"I love you. Be safe."
I love you more. Sleep tight."
Hugs
Kisses
Butt pinches
Ty's up the moment Grace falls asleep
Smiling
Screaming
Bottle
Smiling
Falls asleep
I hold him longer than I need to
Go to put him down
Stop
Hold him some more
Clean the kitchen (kinda)
Clean the living room (half assed)
Fold laundry 
Skip the shower
My head hits the pillow
Ty screams
Bottle
Smiling
I glare at him while he smiles
"Close your eyes and go to sleep."
He does
It's 2:30am
I'm asleep for the first time
Ty wakes up at 5:20am screamiling